Tuesday, 3 January 2017

A Belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

"You could have been killed!" screamed the master at me from the roadside.

It wasn't my fault. I heard 'Right' (which is universal shorthand for 'Right let's go') and I went. How was I supposed to know Jess had decided she wanted to sniff the letterbox causing her lead to get tangled with my extending lead handle, making the lead's lock click off? I walked across the road and, as he yanked me back, the lead cord just zipped longer. The master looked back at me to find me staring back at him from the middle of the road as a white Skoda Octavia's brakes screeched it to a halt. If I'd known it was that easy to make traffic stop, I would do it more often. I'm like a brindle crossing.   

The way he related the tale to the mistress you would have thought it was a drama. I didn't know the vet's was closed because of the holiday. I think if he'd made any more of it, he would have needed the hospital himself. I'm sorry he got a fright. I'm not looking to get a new master just yet.

Later, when he felt better, he joked if I had been squished, it would have been the perfect time of year to pick up a replacement. In the Post-Christmas Dog Rescue Sale there's always lots of choice and plenty of puppies. 'Christmas leftovers' he called them. I didn't think this was funny. If he'd said it on social media, he would have been flamed by dog lovers across the world, except in China. There, dogs are not just for Christmas, they're for Christmas dinner. Plus, for those so inclined, there's the bonus of four legs. I wonder if the Chinese butchers team up with puppy farms prior to Christmas, offering a shortened life in return for an all-u-can-eat dog treat buffet. 

I checked out the menu at a 'Buffet King Charles Spaniel' restaurant in Beijing. They offer multiple canine meal deal options: a 'Chihuahua for one', a 'Labrador for a family' and a 'Newfoundland for visiting Americans'. I think it was a joke. Newfoundland is in Canada.

Westerners don't eat dog for psychological reasons, because we're their best friends. It's frowned upon to eat carnivores.There's a lesson for cows, pigs and sheep. Eat other animals and humans will stop eating you.  

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