Monday, 31 October 2011

Halloweekend Report

It's been a very wet weekend. The rain was so heavy the down pipes from the gutters at the cabin sounded like they were pounding out a speeded-up techno beat. The weather man said we were to have "showers, heavy at times". If that was the case, Aberfoyle must have been right under the shower head. I know how that feels. I've had to have two baths this week. Nothing for ages, then, as Halloween approached and my attempts at a smell costume failed to impress. I got plopped in the bath tub and hosed down twice. Fox poo caused the early bath on Friday, then cattle splat on the Sunday resulted in bath number two. The mistress discovered it as she removed my collar. She might have noticed it first had my coat and collar not been brown. I think the second bath served two purposes given the amount of dog shampoo she lathered on. She used loads of hand cream afterwards too (on herself, as I don't have hands - do they make paw cream? Probably not. I'd end up just licking it off then wanting more. It would be a vicious circle).   

They needn't have bothered with the baths. I got completely drenched tonight on my walk, or paddle as it more closely resembled. It's been so bad the Ferguslie cricket pitch escalated from puddledom to duchy of pond. The roads were margined with rivulets which drivers took great delight in not avoiding. I'm surprised there weren't dudes out with surf boards trying to catch the waves. 

Another bad thing about the poor weather was that it was a washout for trick-or-treaters. Personally I would have liked to have answered the door to them. I like a good treat and the bags they carried smelled full of sweets. And I don't mind performing tricks either if I'm suitably rewarded. I think the kids should be praised for still wanting to share with us, as the complete lack of Halloween decoration would have deterred many from approaching. Was it really fair to let them stand outside, as their costumes degenerated into wet suits, even those that were wet suits? Maybe next year when the master is not on a diet we'll open our door and accept their generosity.

I may even get a proper costume. There's a website that sells halloween costumes for dogs called They have many different designs, from butterflies to sailors to movie characters. Two of them, though, in my opinion, are just wrong. Why dress up a dog as another dog (scooby doo), it's crazy! And putting a dog in a 'Cat in the Hat' costume, by definition, should be outlawed. I think my favourites are the dinosaur costumes. The stegosaur (above) looks completely waterproof and the tail spikes would deter unwelcome male attention at my rear and the Tricerotops (below) would just be mental. I'd wear that everyday if I could. Till next time...