Sunday, 6 March 2011

Oil and Sand and Bonios - a Dirty Revolution

This Libyan mess is starting to affect me. With petrol prices rising at the pumps, I'm not getting driven to the park for my walk at night as a fuel saving measure. I'm forced to pad the pavements around my estate instead. No off-lead sprees for me. What makes it worse is the pavements are still covered in sand and grit, despite it being March. It's really annoying because it gets stuck between the pads of my paws. Why did the council use so much grit and why hasn't it washed away by now?

Did they forget to stop gritting after the Big Freeze was over?
Did they buy in special long-lasting grit as an economy measure?
Is it an anti-mugger device designed to allow you to hear someone crunching up behind you?
Or did they think, by having sand under our feet, we'd adopt a relaxed beach mentality and forget about increased fuel bills, inflation and all the cuts, redundancies and loss of services?

If that was their plan, it won't work. Look at Tunisia, Egypt and Libya: they've got plenty of sand under their feet and are anything but relaxed. They're unhappy because food prices are becoming unaffordable. They see the oil wealth of the people in power and feel oppressed. Remind you of anywhere?

Not that the Scots would rise up against their English oppressors. I wouldn't expect us as a nation to storm Faslane and take control of the nuclear subs, then threaten to blow up Westminster unless they relinquished fiscal control of our North Sea oil and gas and allowed us to govern ourselves. That would be ridiculous. It would make a great film though. The kind of thing the Comic Strip would have made in the eighties.

I need to go. It's time for my night time treat. Oh wait...

"What do you mean there's no Bonio tonight? This is totally unfair. I don't care if the price has gone up. It's not my fault you've mishandled the economy. I don't care how big you are. I'm not leaving. I want regime change and I want it now!"

Grrrrrr! Nobody messes with my stomach. Leave it hungry and I'll be forced to find a bite elsewhere, if you follow me. I'll not rest until I've had my way, and my Bonio. This is not over.