Sunday, 3 October 2010

The Cat is Out of the Bag

After reading my last blog entry, some of you may have noticed the major flaw in my plan to eliminate the cat from next door. And by this I don't mean the impossible methods by which I intended to proceed. No, the major problem was in posting my plan to the world, including Percy, before I had even begun. 

I found Percy the following morning sitting atop a post on our dividing fence, looking smug.

"Found any suicidal canaries for me to swallow?" he smirked. The smile faded as his back rose. "Did they teach you nothing at dog school? There's an old cat saying, 'Forewarned is four clawed'. You'll be getting better acquainted with this" he hissed, presenting his front paw, claws extended. The sinister smile returned as he began to sing out of tune his own version of 'Santa Claws is Coming to Town':

"You'd better watch out,
You'd better be-ware,
Percy the cat is out of his lair,
Pers-e-us is com-ing for you".

Then he leapt back down to his side of the fence and over to the cat flap. "Better watch out for the guillotine, hadn't I?" he giggled as he slipped through the opening into his house.

"Your singing still sucks" I retorted from the safety of my kitchen. "And technically you've just gone back into your lair so the song is factually inaccurate."  

I slumped over to my bed and let out a long sigh. What was I to do? I'd lost the element of surprise. It would take a miracle to pull this one off now. I closed my eyes and worried about my imminent nightmare.